I don’t know how I feel anymore. I’m not happy; nor am I sad. I feel this sense of freedom but at the same time I feel so confined and tied down. I feel like screaming and painting and dancing freely but my fear of me looking stupid or the art turning out wrong is holding me back. I feel excited about the future; but I feel apprehensive too and also feel a sense of boredom with the present. I feel an element of annoyance; annoyance at myself and at others. I feel annoyed that I’m holding myself back; I’m annoyed that the person I show others is completely different to the real me. I show people a fun, excitable, loud character, but I don’t feel like this portrays me well. I am boring (but full of creativity) I am lonely (with a desperation to not be alone) but most of all I am lacking. I am lacking in the ability to show others who I really am and to express the real, quite sensitive, side to me. I don’t know how I feel anymore; but this is the closest I can get to through words.